practice

Get some flowers and put them in a vase. Put them in your bedroom so you can see them daily. Do whatever you want to keep them alive. Become aware of their beauty while aware of their slow death. Pay attention to them every day – their colour, shape, scent – and watch how they change, age, wither, and die. Watch how some of them remain bright while others fade. Even after you have decided they're dead, leave them in a vase for a couple more weeks, or as long as you can bear, and watch how they deteriorate further.

See these flowers as a metaphor for you and your friends. Think about friends around the same age as you. Become aware whether some of them have grey hair while others do not, whether they look older or younger than you, or fitter, and that some of your friends may already have died.

Reconnect with your breath, look at the flowers again, and reflect on their life process. They age much faster than us, but if you can engage with these flowers every day, and be aware of them

moment by moment, they can teach you the inevitability and beauty of life, decay, and death.

Through this practice we can start to discover that we have a choice between facing our fears with love and compassion, or with

blame, anger, and hatred. I do this every time I buy flowers